In the past year my daughter and I both lost our jobs, we both lost a significant person in our lives as a result of long hidden agendas and we both lost Bitey.
In my lifetime I have adopted and cared for 10 cats and two dogs, mostly one at a time. When Bitey wandered into J’s front yard, abandoned, starving and flea ridden, she took him in. It was the best thing that could have happened to all of us. The stories started coming east hinting at his intelligence, his quiet playfulness and a very loving nature. On my first visit, I observed it in living color, and realized that we had all been given a wonderful gift. The prognosis for a long life was not good, but it tended to make us a bit more appreciative of his considerable charm.
Bitey, the big one, was an extraordinary cat. He had an amazing sense of dignity, an incredible presence. In a word, he was very Zen. He understood the connections in Human behavior – you love me, I will love you. Bitey could communicate his feelings the way a skilled actor can send strong messages with a pause, or a lift of the eyebrow. We all fell under his spell. If you sat on the couch reading, he would park on the big cushion close to you, lay his head down on his paws, turn on the purr and let you know that he liked you being there. Once when I hadn’t visited for a year, he walked right up and rubbed my leg; that bespeaks a powerful memory. A bit later as we sat down to eat, he hopped up on the table, lay his head on my arm and tried to look as unobtrusive as a sixteen pound white cat could look on the dining room table.
Bitey observed the patterns of human life. When a pocket alarm would go off in J’s bag, he would pounce on it to still the mechanical “mouse”. He ran to the phone when it rang. He observed the world from roof tops, from under the bougainvillea and from the top shelf of my closet; he always carved out a distinct niche. I never go into that closet without remembering his mysterioso face peeking out at me.
Bitey was John Barrymore reborn. He could strike amazingly languorous poses, and then look you dead in the eye and send the message, “Pretty good, huh?”. If the paradigm of reincarnation has any truth, I sure would like to meet the person Bitey has become.
I don’t think I have used the descriptive “Zen” injudiciously. You ask a question of a teacher and they look back at you kindly and say nothing. You get the message…
the answer is within you, you just have to find the path. Bitey caught your attention with his bulk, his whiteness, and his sweet face; that began a dialogue. Many cultures, religions and humans use icons. Statues of the Virgin, of Buddha, the shape of Mount Rainier, all are finite bodies; we use them as the focus of our contemplations, desires, enlightenment, dependence. Bitey was no Buddha but he sure invited thought. Have you ever watched a family circle watching the antics of a toddler? They see the future in that child, they fantasize about who she might become. Did I read a lot into Bitey’s being, perhaps fantasize that he might be thinking this or that? Sure, but I did a lot of hard thinking and feeling just looking at that mirror; it was a mirror of his soul and of mine. Trust is in terribly short supply these days; it was easy with him.
When cancer began its fatal advance, his dignity stood him in good stead. When he lost mobility, he compensated and eventually accomplished a lot of the things that clearly made him happy, snoozing under the bougainvillea, sunbathing, and crawling under the covers with his two favorite human beings. He grew stronger and could push open the back door with the power of his shoulders and make it to the mud puddles in the yard.
Was the huge expense that J and the boyfriend incurred keeping him alive and happy all those months justified? That is for you to determine within your own value system. Do we limit medical heroics to our babies or our grannies? You do what your heart tells you to do and that was what was done. My first visit following Bitey’s megatherapies was an eye opener – the spark was there, I couldn’t have put him down either.
Bitey’s life was short but he left us all with a lifetime of memories. He was a gift to all of us.
No comments:
Post a Comment